2012, this is going to be such an exciting year! We have so many huge milestones coming up this year. April will be the birth of our son, June is my college graduation, and December we are getting married. I don’t think I have ever had so many big things happen in one year before. It is also the Year of the Dragon, which is very symbolic to me. I’m thinking this is really going to be my year for once. I hope everyone had a great holiday and an amazing New Year’s! ♥ My resolution is to update the blog more. 
After weeks of anticipation, we went for our 20 week ultrasound and neither of us could resist the urge to know what our future child will be. I was sort of hoping for a girl because I can’t resist all those cute clothes they sell for little girls, the tutus and accessories are so adorable. I used to babysit little girls when I was a teenager, and I loved playing dress up with them and doing their hair and makeup. I grew up with all brothers, became a complete tomboy throughout high school, and after graduation I went back to being girly again.
Alas, you can’t really pick the sex of your baby unless you pay for expensive medical procedures. So, when the ultrasound technician came around to the genitals, we clearly saw a boy. Now that we know we are expecting a little man, I am excited to meet him in a few months, and I know that I’ll save money on clothing at least! I’ll just continue to buy cute girly outfits for my niece instead.
We’ve been thinking about names, and we keep coming back to the name we picked for a boy years ago, Rafe. Rafe \r(a)-fe\ as a boy’s name is pronounced rayf. It is of Old German origin, and the meaning of Rafe is “counsel of the wolf”. From Raedwulf. The wolf is known for being crafty.
I have loved this name ever since I first heard it years ago; I kept thinking that I would want to give my son that name. I had a dream about our baby back in 2006, which I luckily had documented in my journal. ‘It was a boy, he had light brown hair and big blue eyes. It was Anthony and my baby. My parents were so happy and excited when I brought him home. Everyone was adoring him.’ I find it so interesting that I dreamt about him years before he was conceived. Now I have to see if he has blue eyes and brown hair, that would be really exciting, that one of my premonitions came true again.
After visiting the infertility specialist and being tested, it was decided that I should be able to conceive still, albeit with a little help from the fertility drugs. I took one dose and we tried on the day of ovulation. Nothing. I became slightly discouraged and my heart sank at our failure. The next month came around, I missed my period. I took a test and it came back positive! I was very much in shock at first, but I was so happy. 
I’m now at 15 weeks, and I can’t wait to find out what we are having. Everyone is so excited for me, especially because of my cancer history. We were afraid that I would be infertile after all the chemotherapy I had years ago. I guess my healthy lifestyle changes really paid off! So far my pregnancy has been great too, no morning sickness to speak of, just a little tired. I feel very blessed to be given a chance to be a mom. I know how hard it is for many cancer survivors that I’ve met online. I hope I can keep up on my blog, as my fiance and I are so busy now with planning for the little one’s arrival.
This is a video I came across years ago, and I thought was hilarious. I thought I’d share it, everyone needs a good laugh now and then.
I saw nails like this posted on Wanelo and I immediately fell in love. I must try this myself I have a lot of different shades of blue polish and black and glitter. All my favorites in one! After I find time to try this out I will take some pictures and post them.
I finally talked to the oncologist about the results of my fertility tests. Apparently they are not good, which I realized when I looked at them. I had hoped I’d somehow be wrong. The Estradiol was very low <32pg/ml, the FSH was 8.1, LH 14.2, and AMH 1.33. Only the FSH and LH look normal, so that gives me slight hope. My fiance and I have decided to try, and see what happens. I ordered a book on infertility to read, it’s about alternative medicines to help you conceive. I also ordered some vitamins, and I’m hoping for the best.
My period has been very irregular since I stopped the pill in December, and I’m worried since I haven’t gotten my period in April now. I took a test to make sure I am not pregnant somehow, and it was negative. I have to go see the gynecologist again tomorrow, so he can probably order more tests. I’m going to keep positive about all this, and hope for the best.
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I’ve been having a rough time updating lately, my workload from school, work, work(2nd job), yoga, and gym is too much right now. I just started seeing a chiropractor for my neck pain and I find out that my spine is all out of whack. Besides my scoliosis I have lordosis and kyphosis. I’m a winner! All three! The chiropractic visits are costly, even with my insurance, but I need to tackle this problem before it gets worse than it is. Also, I have to try to fit it into my crazy busy schedule. I can’t wait to graduate in February.
I got my fertility tests back from my blood work, and I have no clue what they mean. My estrogen is super low, but my fsh and lh are normal. I guess I will have to see what my physician says about this. Maybe baby making isn’t in the cards for me after all. My gyno recommended I see an infertility specialist about freezing my eggs. I think he is out of his mind, that procedure costs more than $10,000! There is no way I can afford that right now.
Sometimes I feel like I take one step forward and then I get hit by a bus. I’m just going to keep my focus on the wedding and trying to save for and plan it with my fiancé. Hopefully it will go smoothly for us. Yeah, I know I’m probably dreaming. ♥
I think I’ll get a cervical traction pillow too.
This video makes a great point. We need representation for the workers. How else are we to stand up to our bosses who under pay us and treat us poorly? If you approached your boss tomorrow and complained about how you haven’t gotten a raise in 3 years and gas prices are soaring do you think they’d care? Governor Walker needs to learn from this speech, and I’m far from a fan of Reagan.
For the People, by the People!
After much searching I found my dream wedding gown a while back, Amy Michelson’s Laurel gown. I’ve been in love with this dress forever, and I just knew I had to have it for my special day. Unfortunately, it retailed for around $4000, way out of my budget. I couldn’t imagine myself wearing a different dress however, so I searched the web for a used one. I recently came across a listing for one for only $800 on preownedweddingdresses.com! It was the right size, AND had the teal sash, so I took the plunge. I’m eagerly awaiting it’s arrival to my house so I can try it on! It’s nice to be able to have the dress out of the way finally. One more thing I can check off my pre-wedding list.
